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Five Tips to Get Your Ex to Talk to You Again

Talking to Ex on the Phone

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You really can’t fix a relationship without communication but you can’t force someone to talk to you, either. Here are five tips to get your ex to talk to you again so you can move forward on getting back together.

When a break up happens, communication is usually cut off or drastically reduced. It’s the severing of all ties and that is the single most thing standing in the way of repairing any relationship. There’s no way you can fix things without speaking to each other and your ex holds all the strings. If they don’t take your calls or agree to meet, you’re doomed. Or are you?

A separation can be a good time for each party to regroup. Your ex needs time to work through whatever caused them to decide it was time to move on and you need time to understand where the relationship went wrong so you can address those problems before getting back together. If you use this time wisely, it can work to your advantage.

At some point, though, nothing is going to happen until you get your ex to talk to you again. Here are some tips to make that happen:

Healing period – Allow for some time to pass before making any attempt to call. Making a ton of repeat phone calls and leaving a bunch of voice messages will only push your ex further away. It’s like the boy who cried wolf. When you finally cool off and are ready to have a truly meaningful discussion, your ex is so annoyed with your phone calls they’ve likely blocked your number from even showing up on their phone. Don’t blow what few chances you may get.

Don’t go in without a plan – Know exactly what you’re going to say and what you want to accomplish before making any calls. Your objective should be to put your ex at ease, to open the door to regular communication and to express your understanding for the breakup. If you say anything in the call that puts your ex on the defensive, you’re done.

Keep your voice calm – Calm keeps people talking for longer even if they’re uncomfortable with the discussion. If you raise your voice, yell, cry or seem too emotional you will frighten your ex off the phone.

Leave a voice message that gets results – “Call me, call me, call me” doesn’t work. If you’ve left a ton of voice messages out of desperation, give the phone calls a rest and then leave this one message to see if you get a response: “{Ex’s name here}, I just wanted to apologize for having behaved so out of control when we broke up. I’ve had a chance to understand things better now and realize why it was right to break up. Just wanted you to know your friendship just meant so much to me and it was very strange not to be able to talk to you. I just wanted to end on a positive note. Thanks.” That’s it. No “call me back”. Nothing. Your ex might end up calling you back after they’ve had time to think about what that message really means.

Resist the urge to call until you’re ready – Until you have a plan, every phone call lessens the chance of getting back together. Each time you feel you need to call your ex but know you aren’t ready, write down why you wanted to call at that particular moment. What did you think you were going to say to your ex? Most often, you’ll see that you had no really well-thought out plan at all. Those notes, however, can help you work through your feelings so you can better prepare your final plan.

Follow this link to see what TW Jackson tells people is the best opening move to get back together with your ex: Magic of Making Up

Breaking up is hard, no doubt. (I think there’s an old song about that, actually.) Communication is the key to fixing any relationship problems so your number one goal is to get your ex to talk to you again but in a way that helps the relationship and doesn’t push them further away. Planning, my friends – it’s all in the planning.

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