How to Stop a Break Up

© Ioana Grecu|Dreamstime

Often, you can feel the end of a relationship coming at you. How to stop a break up? Try these techniques for getting your relationship back on track when you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is about to dump you.

There are subtle signs before most break ups, things feel differently and your senses pick up on those little changes. He isn’t setting up date nights like he used to, she doesn’t pick up the phone every time you call, he is going out with his friends more often, or you have noticed a slight pulling away each time you go to kiss her.

Once a couple has gotten to know each other, any change in the behavior of the other makes the little hairs on the back of our neck stand up and take notice.

If you don’t act on these signals, a break up is likely imminent. It is similar to watching your bank account balance rapidly decline when you know there are still more checks or charges to come through and yet you don’t take the time to put more money in the account. You know a check is going to bounce, and you could have stopped it, but you didn’t.

Don’t fall into that trap – you can make a difference with some relationship repair techniques.

How to Stop a Break Up Before it Happens

• While one’s natural instinct is to become overly clingy when they sense their partner may be considering moving on, resist the temptation to change your own behavior by suddenly hanging on them, calling them more often, or begging for their attention.

• If the two of you have good communication skills, find a quiet setting and time when both of you are relaxed in which you can start a discussion about what you are feeling. Explain to your boyfriend or girlfriend that you think you are in tune enough with them to know when something isn’t quite right and that you would like to be able to discuss it with them. Explain that you respect their feelings and don’t want them to feel like they have to hide something from you. Describe the reasons that you suspect something has changed – their behavior, something you saw, or something they said. Assure them that they should feel comfortable enough to be open and honest.

• If your boyfriend or girlfriend confesses that they have been having some doubts about the relationship, talk about those doubts and work together to find solutions. Remind your partner that relationships have their ups and downs and take a lot of work and that you would hope they’d feel that the two of you were worth a bit of effort before making any decision to separate.

• Ask your partner if they would agree to attend couples counseling to help deal with any doubts or issues that are hampering the relationship.

Lots of men and women might shy away from wanting to discuss any problems with the relationship but the strongest, healthiest relationships are able to weather such discussions. There are also lots of men and women who avoid any subject of counseling. There’s a stigma attached to going to see a professional for help with any personal problems, including relationships issues, and many feel that it is an admittance of failure even though the solution could help repair whatever is causing the problem. Professional help can also be quite costly.

If you or your partner would be uncomfortable using a professional counselor or can’t afford one, at least try using a relationship workbook that can help uncover and resolve any outstanding issues.

Problems in a relationship are natural but we are so often unequipped with the skills for dealing with those problems. There’s very little formal education any of us receive about how to deal with a life partner. It’s absolutely a sign of maturity and emotional understanding that you find information and books that can teach you how to stop a break up.