29 November 2009 ~ 0 Comments

How Do I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back In 3 Easy Steps

The highs and lows of love are some of the most extreme feelings you will ever go through. The highs are exhilarating. The lows can make you feel like you want to die. If your boyfriend broke up with you and you really want to know how do I get my ex boyfriend back, follow these three simple steps that can get you back together and stronger than ever.

Step 1

You might not want to hear it, but the first step is to get yourself put back together. Your mind can be reeling out of control after a break up. The traditional stages of grief apply and it’s normal to go through a roller-coaster of emotions – from denial, to anger, to utter sadness. Getting hung up on any phase of the process is not healthy for you and can actually keep you from having any success at getting back together.

To counter those affects, try to eat well, sleep well, and get out of the house every now and then besides just going to school or work. Keep a close circle of friends around you for support. Try to stop dwelling on the negative and focus on a plan for both recovering your self control and dealing with the question about how do I get my ex boyfriend back.

Step 2
The second step is to even the scale. Right now, you are the one moping around, constantly thinking about your ex, sacrificing time that could be spent on more pleasurable interests by spending hours thinking and talking about him. He has all the power. He did the breaking up and he is moving on while you are left to pick up the pieces. If he called you today and asked to get back together, you would jump at the chance and he knows it. But if you call asking for the same thing, it’s all up to him and his answer would probably still be no. That doesn’t seem fair, does it? You need to get some of that control back by doing things that are going to get HIM thinking about YOU, too, instead of it being completely the other way around.

Should I call him? Should I send him a note? Is he seeing someone else?

These are the normal questions that run through one’s mind after someone has broken up with us. This worrying and wondering and thinking up the worst possible scenarios is like a drug we can’t shake. The truth is, you shouldn’t call him. Don’t text message him or send emails. All those efforts to reach him only reinforce his power over the situation. Stop giving him more power.

If you have been doing those things and then you suddenly stop. What do you think he’s going to start doing? Right. He’s going to start wondering why you stopped. What changed with you that he is not hearing from you any longer? Have you found someone new already? Now, his mind may start going through the same cycle you were running through. It is normal human behavior. He felt all fine about his decision when he knew he could get you back at a moment’s notice, but now that you are not constantly calling him or making any attempts to see him or speak to him, his mind suddenly has a hole to fill and his imagination may run wild.

It may take every ounce of patience you have, but you need to keep from making any attempts to reach him for a couple of weeks. Let him really experience not having any contact with you. This is another way for you to get him thinking about you. Before, he could count on you calling or sending him some signal that told him you still had feelings so he didn’t really have to experience life without you. Once all is silent on your end, he might realize just how much he misses you.

Step 3
During those few weeks, you are going to do some serious studying because when you see him or talk to your ex boyfriend again you need to be armed with some strategies that will milk that contact into another, and another, and another until the two of you are back together. Chances are that when you get him thinking about you as much as you are thinking about him, it will be him that calls you first.

Here are the things you want to do and learn during those two weeks:

  • What do I say to my ex boyfriend when he calls me?
  • What were the weak spots in our relationship that drove us to breaking up?
  • What communication skills were we lacking that could have kept us together and how do I acquire those skills?
  • How can I wipe the slate clean with my ex so we can have a fresh start and get past the disagreements that led to the break up?
  • What do men really want from women and how do I make sure I can meet my ex’s expectations?

Many women ask themselves how do I get my ex boyfriend back, but not all of them follow up on the strategies that could really make that happen. Find a really good relationship guide that will walk you through assessing your relationship skills and teach you the important steps in building a healthy, stronger relationship.

Don’t be surprised if during these few weeks, you decide your ex boyfriend was a jerk after all and you don’t really want him back. It could happen, you know. You might find you want him back so badly only because you feel lost without a boyfriend, but what if, while learning about healthy, satisfying, relationships you decide he could never fulfill your dreams after all or you meet someone new who is better in so many ways. Now, not only will have you have your ex boyfriend thinking about you and how much he misses you, plus have a ton of new information about making yourself and your man happy, but you might also have a new potential boyfriend. Is that complete control, or what? You can’t lose. You now have complete control. This is a way better plan than sitting in your room crying your eyes out over an ex boyfriend.

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