Did He Fall Out of Love or is He Just Afraid?

© Qthomasbower

In your heart, you know he still loves you which is why it’s so difficult to understand why he broke up with you. Is it possible he was really just afraid of getting too close?

I try to avoid cliches and stereotypes, but they’re often based on facts – opinions formed over time because the repetitiveness makes an event predictable. Sometimes (but not all of the time), a guy will break up with his girlfriend because he is afraid – of the future, of getting too close, of not having experienced enough “life”, of what it will really mean to make a commitment to one person.

Otherwise, you might have seen the breakup coming. You might have been given clues over a period of time so that when he did break up, you weren’t so shocked.

What do you do if you think your ex still loves you but found it easier to run away than to stay? How do you win your boyfriend back?

You need to get him to recognize his mistake and come back to you. Then, you can help him get over his fear so breaking up doesn’t happen again.

The challenge is that it probably took a lot for him to make the decision to leave you. Imagine how hard it must be to walk away from something you love. And having made such a tough decision, he isn’t going to change his mind easily. In fact, the things you might normally try to get him back are only going to confirm he was right.

You call him too much – he’s going to say, “See? She’s just clingy.”

You beg for him to come back to you – he’s just going to say, “See? She’s so needy.”

You apologize for everything under the sun in an attempt to get him to go out with you again – he’s just going to say, “She’s not very strong-willed and doesn’t have much self respect. I was right in making the decision I did.”

See, he’s not going to tell you he was just afraid.  He probably hasn’t even admitted that to himself.  He’s justified the break up with some other reason.  You were too tall.  He never liked your family.  He thought you didn’t have enough in common.

You’ve got to get him to come back to you on his own terms.  He’s got to see how much he really misses you in his life.  It’s tricky because your heart is telling you to run after him but that isn’t likely to work.

Check out the first video at the Magic of Making Up site.  It gives some of the best advice about how to get your ex to come back to you without you having to do all of the work.